


We Would Have Been Legendary

by silverhandsimp



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad coping mechanisms, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, F/M, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Panic Attacks, god I am so sorry, i also broke canon obviously, im sorry there’s no happy ending, spoilers for don’t fear the reaper ending, there’s the slightest bit of fluff if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28700961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverhandsimp/pseuds/silverhandsimp
Summary: “Johnny, you remember what I said at Pistis Sophia, how I’d die for you? That never changed.”Johnny thought about the time he first met her, back then he’d be happy she was putting his life before hers, he even wanted to kill her at first, but now those words brought up emotions he had gotten used to. Before everything, before death, before being trapped in cyberspace for nearly 60 years, he would be thrilled about anyone who would sacrifice everything for him, throwing themselves in the fire pit solely for his benefit, and he would have encouraged it.V changed him though, she changed him into nearly a different person, selfless, maybe even a bit kinder, and he didn’t want anything to do with living if she wasn’t around.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V, Johnny Silverhand/V
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	We Would Have Been Legendary

It was cold and dark as she slipped into the pool of coolant, the voice of the AI still ringing in her ears, her head was pounding. She didn’t know how she was still alive, blowing through arasaka leaving a pile of bodies in her wake was not what she expected; but she did it. They did it. She could hear Johnny speak as her eyes flashed red, submerging in to the depths she felt weightless, free. 

The next thing she knew she was in an elevator, confused as to why she wasn’t in cyberspace. There was no glitching lines flashing in front of her, no technical AI that brought her into this abyss of nothing, separated from her body 

She was on the roof, the one she had been to so many times before, with Misty, with Johnny, with Jackie. She felt the stab at her heart as memories surfaced again, but tried her best to suppress them and finally she saw it. Her necklace. It’s round golden frame perfect held the bullet that was pried from her skull, meticulously wrapped in string. 

To her, it was a memento of everything that went wrong in her life, the worst day of her life, but also a new beginning, something she had never expected to happen. To be stuck with an idolized dead man with a quick temper and inflammable nature, that she hated at first, god she hated him so much at first. 

Now it was, it was different. She found herself hoping, longing, for a happy future for the both of them, no exceptions. She was fully prepared for the worst, when it came down to it, she’d do anything to give Johnny his life back, give him a chance to make the change he wanted, enjoy what time he could without being stuck in someone’s head. She wanted to give him a chance at happiness, hers ran out right before she met him anyways. 

Before she could think any longer, the distant sight of night city slowly shredded apart in her vision, something like acid rain ripping the world apart at its seams. She found herself in a somewhat familiar setting, while still dark she could see the glitchy remains of steps, platforms she had walked across before, and then she heard alts static voice once again. 

In the distance she could see him, the old bastard she had grown to love, he was far away. Standing in a beam of yellow light, more digitized than she remember him as, maybe even more than when she first met him, but she felt relief. 

She approached him slowly, reaching a hand to see if she could touch him, and she could. This time it was different than before though, not rough like while he was smashing her head against the dirty window and a shitty apartment, not like on her couch where he planted himself and their knees brushed together and she felt both feelings all at once paired with heat on her cheeks. 

But not exactly like a real touch either, it was still hollow, sort of like running your fingers through water but you can feel the pressure, but this time her hands could make out the shape of his shoulder. Even though somewhere in her head she could feel the coolant encasing her, and maybe that’s how it felt to touch him, like running your fingers across someone while you’re both underwater. She held her breath the same way. 

He turned around and a smile crept on her face as they bantered back and forth. Eventually they sat on pixelated chairs, the atmosphere dark and cold, like the first time she met alt as she sat in an ice bath. Though this time she had a clearer head, one goal on her mind as she listened to what Alt was saying, their personalities were split. 

She would still be stuck in a body that was attacking its own nervous system, preparing for self destruction constantly. 

She would die, this time without johnny, she got rid of him from her head for nothing. 

But Johnny, if Johnny’s construct was put into her body on its own, he would survive, he could live. They were compatible after all, which V thought meant a lot more than just construct and it’s host. 

“Johnny, you remember what I said at Pistis Sophia, how I’d die for you? That never changed.” 

For a moment, her anger faded away, as well as the sadness and fear, and she stood to look at Johnny. She thought about how he could live, he could be more than an old legend who no one truly knew, that grew out of his cold hard shell and sprouted into some new, someone better. That’s when she saw his face, and it all crashed around her, like everything that led up to this point was only for Johnny. Despite his trying to kill her, every damn time he wouldn’t shut his mouth and that shit eating grin that pissed her off so much but sent chills down her spine at the same time, she wanted him to live, even if it meant she was trapped here forever, not knowing what would happen to her, if she’d suffer, if she’d become someone else, or if she just disappeared. 

She watched him change over time, watched him learn to open up, watched him want to help save her life, watched him learn to care for more than just himself, even though his fiend with Arasaka was insatiable, she watched him become selfless. He deserved to live, she’d rather give him a chance at a happy real life, then go and waste what was left of hers without him. 

“Hell no V, absolutely fucking not! All along it’s been my life for yours, we get the chip out, and send me back here with alt, you going home and living your life, tearing up night city piece by piece” he was scared, hurt, angry, sad, he didn’t know, but he couldn’t focus on V. He paced back and forth, configuring all over the place in different corners and positions. If V was going to die he didn’t want to witness it, and he sure as hell didn’t want to live his life, sporting her face, and without her. 

It had been a long time coming, sorting through feelings, watching her come to a wake in the mornings and yawn so loudly it was definitely over exaggerated, but italmost made him want to laugh, he thought it was cute. He never told her. 

He watched her fight like she had nothing left to lose, much like she did, but she fought for everyone else, not only herself, and he found himself wanting to be more like her. He never told her. 

He listened to her bitch about him asking her to smoke all the time, and when she let him go for a ride in her body and she woke up smelling like cigarettes, and eventually he even wanted to stop himself. He never told her. 

He remembered the rollercoaster she tried so desperately to fix, not wanting to let it go despite how much a waste of time he told her it was, and he’d actually been glad she got it working. He remembered the way the quick wind blew her hair all around her face while they ascended and descended mid air, the happy screams she belted out to make a joke out of how he told her he bet she’d scream like a little girl. He remembered the way he couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and how genuine the smile he had felt, and how he never wanted that moment to end. Yet he never told her. 

On the roof, he thought about how she was willing to get herself killed to go out with a bang, become a legend, and the way she looked at him eyes full of fire and smile full of determination. He saw what he always overlooked, a girl with a huge heart, infectious smile, who was utterly selfless and he wished he was like her, wished he had always been like her. 

and he realized he loved her. 

He had died, been thrown onto a digital biochip and placed in some girls head, and he fell in love with her. It was fucked up, but he never told her. 

Regret consumed him like a fire on gasoline, and he didn’t know if he could live with that regret with her gone.

“Johnny, damn it, this is my choice, let me make it!” she pleaded with him, and the face she held as she turned on her heel to head towards the black wall to disappear into nothing made his heart sink to his gut, knotted and aching. 

“V, I-“ He attempted to stop her, grabbing her hand and squeezing. He wanted to stop her, he wished he had all the power in the world, he wished he could force her to change her mind, live what life she had left. They were in the exact same position, neither wanting a life without the other. 

But they didn’t know it, and wouldn’t dare say.

She stopped, holding his hand as tears flowed down her cheeks, and she wanted to hug him, never letting go. Words were replaced with Johnny letting go of her hand and bringing his face close to hers, their lips meeting in such a sad kiss, full of sadness and longing. 

and though it felt like kissing a cloud in the ocean, they took each other in, enjoying the few seconds they could before V let go, giving him that all knowing look. 

“We would have been legendary Johnny, in another life.” she said with a grief stricken smile before crossing over beyond the black wall, yellow light consuming her as her pixelated body started to disintegrate. 

Johnny was alone again in that dark and cold state he thought he was used to, but something was different, something he hadn’t experienced since he was alive. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, thudding in his head like a bomb going off in the distance. 

When he woke up his vision was blurry, like he was looking through a fogged up telescope, he could make out that he was in her apartment by the smell. He could smell her. He didn’t know how he got there, just the memory of V disappearing right before his eyes. 

He pushed himself out of bed, his entire body tingling like the static you feel when you sit in the same position for hours, he stumbled into to the bathroom, catching a glance in the mirror as he felt the bile rise in his throat. 

It was her face, he could see her. He brought a shaky hand up to his cheek, pressing softly to see if it was real, he really took her body. 

He could feel it rising, his stomach muscles tensing and releasing as he heaved over the sink, not being able to contain stomach contents as he grasped the counter. 

Prickling tears welt up in his eyes and he had no clue what to do, he didn’t understand what was happening. He was wearing her clothes, he sported her hair, her cheekbones, nose, and lips, but it wasn’t her. A fist raised to the mirror, punching multiple times before collapsing to the floor. 

He wasn’t used to a rush of emotions, and there was no need for crying in cyberspace, but in a real human body all of the emotions he had ever felt before were now brought to life and his fists clenched, long nails digging into the soft skin on his palms as he curled up in the floor, chest tightening so agonizingly he could barely breath. 

He didn’t know how long he had been there but he had to get out, he couldn’t stand to be in the space any longer, he panicked as he pushed himself up off the floor. 

𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭. 

He couldn’t breathe. 

𝘥𝘰𝘰𝘳. 

He couldn’t see. 

Somehow he managed to escape the apartment, finding himself somewhere he didn’t pay enough attention to. 

He didn’t know what to do, he was in her body and she was gone, she’d never come back, and he was supposed to live? 

Everything felt heavy, felt like it was wrapped around his chest and ribs, pulling even tighter with every breath he took, almost to the point where he thought he would break. 

What was he supposed to do? 

Weeks passed, nothing getting better, but he could at least walk around without breaking down and he could enter the apartment without feeling like he could suffocate. He felt bad he wasn’t taking care of V’s body, he knew she expected him to live and have a good life, to have fun, but that wasn’t happening, he didn’t ever expect it to. 

Eventually he started smoking again, he didn’t see a point in calling it quits any more without V to complain about it. 

He turned to back drugs, something he hadn’t done since V let him have a one time go in her body while she was still alive. He thought he was doing it to numb the pain, make things go away, make it easier. 

Easier never came. 

He thought then he was doing it, because of the hallucinations. 

To see V, talk to her, instead of looking at his own reflection and seeing her through himself, he knew he was going crazy, and he didn’t care. 

Nothing could bring her back to him, and nothing could stop him from the shit he got himself into. 

If only she was there. 

He founded himself driving the arch a lot, the one thing that sometimes dimmed the pain for him was driving around at night, in the open feeling the wind blow through his hair and across his face. 

“We would have been legendary” he thought, 

This particular night he felt different, he felt calm, he didn’t feel the looming sadness that stuck in his head, and he felt ready, for whatever it was.

If only she was there. 

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵,

𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.


End file.
